I really am tired:P. Today was a really amazing but long day. I love the play and love everything about it. I really enjoyed dressing up today in my party clothing. I thought that i looked good, i always feel so conceded when i say something like that, but is it bad to have self confidence? I think that i really suck at blogging. I never have really anything interesting to talk about, but whatever:D. I am really happy with what i have. I really like hanging out with new people that you never really spend time with other than like rehersal and stuff, you really get to know a person. I have been reallly figity lately, I really have no idea why.
I really liked them all coming to my house. It was a lot of fun. I hope they know that I enjoy having their company. I just like talking to people, it is a lot of fun. I kinda feel bad though because I feel like i make other people's plans into my own. I need to fix that. I need to fix a lot of things about myself. Like I think I talk about myself way too much:P.
afjaklsdjfklasdjfkladj. I really hope i don't annoy people. I really feel like I do. I don't know.
I hate those moods when you are super unsure of yourself. I am in one of those right now. I really don't like it but whatever life goes on?
I wish i had something like really important to talk about, but i don't:P. Eff my life. Not really i am pleased about where life is heading right now. I really like the group of people that I have been around, they really do make me happy. Even though I don't know how well they like me, I always wonder if i like force myself upon people. If I do, I am sorry, I really don't mean too. Or like I feel like i like people a lot more than they like me. I think that I am a really insecure person. Wow I really have a problem about capitalizing the word "I". I say that word much too much, it really is lame. I really don't know how to talk without using that word, this is really depressing me right now. LAME. haha all well, I think I am going to go to sleep.
Oh wait today is a wonderful day! I got to walk, no more crutches!!!
-“Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.”
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Do I suck? I really want to know this. I am just tired of being put down by people. I do really feel like a terrible person and that isn't me. I do apologize to anyone that my words may have hurt. BUT i will not take any of them back, if I said something it was true and I do not regret saying it. Everyone talks shit, well almost everyone, and everyone gets shit talked about them. It really is part of life. I guess people just deal with it differently. Yeah i really care what people think about me, it is a big problem that I have, but i just let all the shit roll off my shoulder. The reason why is I know everyone does it! It is part of life, yeah i take some of it to heart but i don't go and tell the world about it. I really am not like that, I really wish people would take the time to learn that about me sometimes. But whatever fuck the haters, liars, posers, and the dicks. I am done with your bitch ass drama, so if you are going to start it with me trust me there will be no fighting back i am really done.
Today was relaxing, i feel better, yay days of sleep. (:
I think I am changing, coming into myself. I don't know.
I LOVE Carolyn Jordan Hancock!
- People keep saying your going the wrong way, but simply your going your way.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Well today was a good day. School is almost out so that is a plus. My hair looked good, not trying to sound conceded, and Mr. Cluff told me i looked good. Selling tickets at lunch kinda sucked, i really hate being ignored. But no harm no foul. I don't understand what the fuck happeded in third hour. She was just blaming everything on me and wow that sucked, it's not like you are the only one that people talk shit about. It happens, get the fuck over it. That is all I have to say about that problem. I really don't care anymore about people shit!
My foot has really been hurting today, I really hope that walking on it didn't mess it up. I have my apt Wednesday at 9:45 so i will be late for call, and that is okay with me. I am just happy to get this bad boy off. I miss walking.
I have a headache and I am not enjoying it, who does.
-The greatest thing you will learn is to love, and be loved in return.
-Moulin Rouge
Sunday, April 26, 2009
nothing is forever
thank god for mom and dad for sticking two together cause we don't know how.
Okay, so i haven't written in like forever! I have just been so busy with the play. I am so tired from it, but so glad i am apart of it. Tonight i must say was the best night that we have had so far. It to me was fanominal(i really can't spell that word!). Just being with people is awesome to me. When this is all over i swear i am going to be a loner:P. So today we had to performances, mat and evening. Matt didn't go as well as i would have liked but it was still awesome. After matt Heather, Kara, Andrea, and I are like what should we do, so we go to my house and get some grilled cheese made by my mother:D, and then we had nothing to do so H was like well lets play dress up and we are all well uh, and then i think K is like Bridal Fair, and we all jump off of the counter and are like oh yes lets go. It was funny, so we get in the car and drive there and it turns out to be closed so we go to blossom and sit on the couch and read magazines. So we sit there for a while and H was like puppies! So we went to the pet store and looked at puppies. It was amazing, after that we were like well now we have nothing to do and we have 15 minutes. H and A had an idea of swinging so we go and like there are four swings and two are taken by these little girls. So K and I sit on two and A and H are standing and H all of a sudden is like, "So i was banging this guy one time and he asked if he could pee one me." well when that story ended the little girls ran away. It was awesome. Well then we go back and we are all bragging about our awesome time, because that is just what girls do and i hear Tierra talking to Nicole saying how she was ditched, like wtf? But that didn't bother me, I was having too much of a good time. The preformance went well. I was surprized, Liz is really good at doing her thing. Hair is really becoming one of my favorite people. He just gives the most conforting hugs and is a joy to be around, i mean i am really glad that i met him. I just like people like him, he just is an amazing person and he is all pourpouse.:D He also listens to awesome movies and likes the notebook:D Kara has always been amazing to me, and we are finally becoming what we used to be. I really missed the light that she brought to my life. I just have the most fun with her. Heather is so funny and she really is a cool person, at first i didn't really know what to think of her, but now i really enjoy her comany:D Beans and I are now married, we have rings and everything. He just is another person that gives the most amzing hugs. And he is funny. Nicole is amazing. We have our past of cat fights and little drama, with all that i missed out on the most amazing person. She is genuine. Levi is really easy to talk to, like i feel as if he is more of an older brother. Yeah it sounds weird but i have no idea how to explain it. I don't know those are just some of the people that have impacted me alot lately. I may have only known most of them for a short while but I really do love them and they are amazing people, and if i didn't do this play i wouldn't know any one of them, and i think that if they weren't in my life i would miss them(corny line for a movie?) I am so tired right now, but i really can't get to sleep I don"t think so atleast. I just don't want this happy day to end. I have been truely happy, and i really haven't been like this for a while, yeah i have my moments of joy, but ever since this play has happened to me, or just lately i have been happy. I enjoy it, it really is fantastic(: I really havent been eating really healthy and I am not too happy with myself about that, I have really been feeling like a fatty but whatever, i just need to make better choices in food. I really want to become vegitarian. Like I know i have tried it in the past and failed but i really want to do it. I guess i am afraid to try it because of what my family says, I wish they were much more supportive of me in that i do. Like my mom really upset me the other day, i ask her to bring me something to drink because i really didn't feel good and she says no because she can't be late to james's game because he may be starting pitcher. I mean just because I am not into the whole sports thing doesn't mean that i need to come behind the others. Like you have seen him pitch so many times before, how many times have you seen me in a play, doing something that i love? I guess it just bothers me, but i will get over it. Life goes on. Well i really need to go get all of this stage makeup off my face and maybe eat something? That sounds like and idea. goodnight, hopefully I will have more time to blog later!
-one good thing about music is when it hits you it doesn't hurt
-Bob Marley
Saturday, April 18, 2009
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