today.

Today was a good day for the most part. Classes were pretty boring, i had so much energy all day it was insane. The pep assembly i thought was bad ass. The strobe and all that was crazy. Cheyenne was hilarious too, her poor knee. I got a whole bunch of glow and the dark necklaces. :D After school i went to Tea's house and had a Ramen party. That was yummy we had our Mater party hats(: Rehersal was lame, i feel like such an outcast there it is not even funny. Everyone has their own little niche and i am just like oh okay i'll just sit here. But it is getting better, ha i got sat on): And man after that i went with Shelly and Austin off roading, oh my god that was so scary. We went and got juice though! It was so yummy man! And now i am home, sitting alone, because the twins were able to go to their friends house, but can I no. Why? Because i didn't clean my room a week ago:P. I just hate the double standards that happen in this house. I just hate how i am always the one that has to stay home while everyone is out having fun. Ha I am just ranting. Well i am going to enjoy my night of freaking nothing.

Also i am tired of being single and hanging out with all of my friends that are in relationships, it just is like oh my god why can't i have something like that for once? I mean i feel like i am always just the tag along, like even if they are like lets all hang. I don't know i just want that boy. I need it...
GOD i fucking don't get why i am treating like shit. I do everything the tell me to do but does that make them any different. Its not like i ask for much. They make me feel like i am in total hell. I hate my life because of them. They treat me like i am a peice of fucking dirt. If they ask for resect maybe they should dish some out in retern. My room is clean, I have great grades, I do my dishes, I do whatever the fuck they ask me to do. And when i ask something from them all i get is no i don't like your attitude if you keep this up you will not have any type of life at all. And if you keep this up you will have nothing to ever do and be in totall missery. NEWSFLASH: I am already fucking there, but you know i can't be depressed I am just over dramatic. Well no, i hate life here, all i want to do is leave, I don't care if i have to move in with my fucking grandparents I can't do this anymore. They put me in so much pain, i don't have anymore tears to spare but they keep coming down. And it isn't like i did anything wrong, right when i walk in the door it was "you can't go anywhere i don't think that your room is clean. Mom i cleaned it last night. Wll i told you to clean it last week you only clean it when you want to go somewhere. No i did't even ask to go somewhere. Well good cause you aren't. But why my room is 100% clean. Well you should have done it earlier. Yeah that is what i fucking come home to. I can't deal with this every god damn day. I am sick of it, and i don't even deserve it. I don't understand why they think that i am such a horrible daughter. I don't even do anything fucking wrong. I just want to leave. I'd rather live in hell than here.
I see how all of my friends parents treat them, and i wonder why can't i have that? What did i do that i was stuck being unhappy. I am leaving here as soon as i can. I want to leave right now but that isn't possible. They wonder why i never want to be home or anything? I hate it here. Everyone says how i have it so easy. But no i really don't i woud just like parents that cared for once.... I just feel so unwated everywhere i go..
FUCK IT

-peace